Warming up to Marriage...

So yesterday was a holiday and I caught up on some much needed rest, relaxation and reflection. I also had an opportunity to watch a little TV and clear out my DVR, which brings me to the meaning of this post. I was watching Oprah interview Ellen about the O magazine cover (Dec ’09), and her first co-interview with her wife Portia de Rossi.


Now most of my friends know that I'm personally against marriage (from an institutional perspective) however I fiercely advocate allowing gay couples the civil right to marry as a matter of equal justice under the law. But sitting there watching Ellen and Portia, I didn't see marriage as a public policy or issue to be debated, I saw Love, pure unadulterated Love. I saw freedom from shame, freedom from insecurity, freedom from the 'thought police' who preach morality but are anything but moral. I saw the freedom to love on display for millions of Americans to bear witness and appreciate the normalcy of gay relationships. Lost in the debate over gay marriage is the basic humanity of the very real people involved. Heterosexual people love to use their religion as a crux to justify their willful ignorance, and while doing so never realize the self loathing taking place within homosexuals as we try to make heterosexuals more comfortable around us. It can take years, sometimes a lifetime before gay people can come to full acceptance of themselves and their true identity, many factors contribute to this, not least of which is the hateful climate toward gays which is finally beginning to subside (the more common folk become educated and accepting). When I saw the look in Ellen and Portia's eyes thru the various photos that Oprah showed from their wedding, I was profoundly touched and dare I say more hopeful about the possibilities that lay ahead.

In their eyes I saw love, I saw affection, I saw unabated passion, and a desire that can only come when one frees them-self from their self. Self can often be our own greatest obstacle to success, peace (of mind) and happiness. We are all a work in progress, and I do believe that yesterday I saw progression in my own self and my personal views toward marriage. I think I want that joy that love, that passion for work and for each other that I saw on display on that stage. I'll end by saying Thank You Oprah for allowing Ellen and Portia to put their Love on display for all, cheers to the endless possibilities that lay ahead as we chart our own future and create the 21st century in our image!